We bet you thought you were getting a list of green New Year’s resolutions this week. But that would be predictable—and pretty freaking boring. If you’re reading this column you already know the deal. If not, use your common sense. Recycle this. Shut that off. Use both sides of the toilet paper. Besides, fewer than 10 percent of people keep their resolutions, so why set you up for failure? So how about forgoing the ill-fated resolution this year, and trying something different—after all, resolution isn’t something you make, it’s something you have. And here are some ways to sharpen yours in 2010.
a line judge who penalized her.
KNOW WHO YOU ARE
“Why do they call you Posh?” —
“Why do they call you beautiful?” —
“We’re going to be in the Hudson.”— to air traffic controllers asking which runway he preferred.
DON’T WORRY WHAT OTHERS THINK
“I’mma thank [God] for making me drop out of school. I’mma thank him for making me sell crack. I’mma thank him for allowing me to watch my partners die in my arms, so I’d be fearful enough for my life and paranoid enough to go out and cop machine guns and silencers…so I be validated enough to get out there and touch the youth.” —rapper
“I had a stalker…she stood outside of my apartment every day for weeks…I was so bored and lonely that I went out and had dinner with her. I just complained about everything in my life and she never came back.”—
“I have only two passions: space exploration and hip-hop” —astronaut
“One of the founding people who invented birth control said it was the worst thing they had ever done.. how most women are suicidal on it.” —Heidi Montag
“She has not only got a grand piano with, I swear to God, maybe a thousand pictures of herself, but I was in the bathroom, and there were pictures of her everywhere. I’m just trying to pee and there’s just f**king Paris.”— on
“I remember being 17 years old, up for my first MTV award…it was one of the most exciting moments of my life, so I’d like for Taylor to come out and have her moment.” —, declining a speech, handing over the mic to who had her speech interrupted by
“I’ve always said that I would like to be president—it’s kind of my whole thing. Maybe 2040.” —
“Some artists want your money so they can buy Range Rovers and diamond bracelets, but I don’t care about that kind of stuff. I want your soul.”—Lady Gaga
SEE THE BEST IN PEOPLE
“Susan Boyle could look really hot if she just wore some pretty dresses.”—Paris Hilton
DON’T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS
“You want me to tell you what my husband thinks? My husband is not Secretary of State. I am. You ask my opinion. I’ll tell you my opinion,” to a student who asked “What does Mr. Clinton think?” and meant to say “Mr. ”
“What’s up London!” — to a Manchester crowd.
“ — to a Michigan crowd.