10. Cheaters Out of the Closet—The big scandal at the end of 2009 was Tiger Woods’ affairs with a couple of women—and his wife attacking him with his own golf clubs. By early 2010 that number grew to something like 15 women. In March, Jesse James decided to help Tiger make his way out of the spotlight by getting caught cheating on Sandra Bullock with about 10 other women, including tattoo model Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, who shared his Nazi lovin’ tendencies, before he later hooked up with tattoo artist Kat von D. Ricky Martin then took the spotlight off James and Woods for about 30 seconds, not by having sex with prostitutes, but by announcing to the world that he is gay—which didn’t work at all, since we all knew that 10 years ago. All of these people share the number 10 spot because we’re just sick of hearing about them. Moving on…
9. Naked Annoying People—Erykah Badu took everything off in Dallas to shoot the music video for “Window Seat.” Badu stripped while walking along the grassy knoll and re-enacting the Kennedy assassination, an act that landed her in jail. Six months later Katy Perry flashed Elmo on Sesame Street, well by children’s television standards, anyway. And back in July, Snooki was arrested on a Florida beach while stumbling all over the place drunk in the middle of the day for being criminally annoying. Yes, apparently it is a crime.
8. Bret Michaels—Bret Michaels suffered massive health problems in 2010—first with a brain hemorrhage in April, made even more complicated due to his diabetes, and then a hole in his heart in May. But he still managed to win Donald Trump’s Apprentice, flirt with every woman in sight, and not be seen without his signature bandana on—ever. Fun fact: This was all going down around the time Angelina Jolie was hanging out in Bethpage over at Grumman to shoot the movie Salt.
7. Charlie Sheen Scares a Prostitute—By now, Charlie Sheen and prostitutes go hand in hand, but this year Sheen cranked things up a few notches. Fresh off his latest stint in rehab, the actor was found high, drunk and naked with a prostitute in his closet at New York’s Plaza Hotel while his children and ex-wife Denise Richards slept in the room next door.
6. John Mayer Gives Playboy TMI—John Mayer, perpetual jerk who still manages to make women swoon even though he looks like a pedo—and Frankenstein’s monster—sat down with Playboy in February, and managed to insult, or compliment depending on how you look at it, his ex-girlfriend, Jessica Simpson, by calling her “sexual napalm” and offend an entire race of people by saying he is a black supremacist below the belt.
5. Paris Hilton Arrested for Cocaine—Paris Hilton got caught with cocaine in her purse in August, then told cops she borrowed her friend’s purse and the cocaine wasn’t hers. The only problem? Hilton had just posted a picture of said purse on Twitter announcing her latest purchase. Idiot.
4. Miley Cyrus Smokes a Bong—Now, the best part of a Disney starlet getting caught on video smoking salvia with bong in hand isn’t the documented fall from grace. In this case, it is Miley Cyrus attempting to rap at warp speed like Nicki Minaj. And this wasn’t the only embarrassment that came Miley’s way this year. Perez Hilton faced child pornography charges after publishing a photo of Cyrus’ lady parts in June.
3. Mel Gibson Tirade—Ah, Mel Gibson. Just when you think his reputation can’t get any worse, he goes and huffs, puffs, growls, and makes threats and demonic noises at his wife, and it is all captured on tape—a welcome reprieve from hearing about Conan O’Brien and Jay Leno’s late-night nerd wars.
2. Celebrity Feuds—Lil’ Kim and Nicki Minaj ended this year on a pretty bad note, with Kim saying Nicki should thank her for paving the way for female rap artists, and Nicki basically owes all her fame to her. This began a back-and-forth verbal war between the two ladies, and inspired Nicki and Eminem’s song “Roman’s Revenge.” This should make 2011 pretty damn interesting. Lady Gaga and her meat dress also managed to piss off PETA and predecessors like Christina Aguilera, Grace Jones and M.I.A. for starters. But none of these generational wars apply to Betty White, who got more positive attention than all these people combined in 2010. White was named Entertainer of the Year at a ripe 88-years-old by the Associated Press.
1. The Lohan Family—We don’t even know where to begin with this one, and we couldn’t narrow it down so we’ll start with L.I. and work our way through the L.A. County jail. Lindsay’s mom got into a fight at a Carvel store in East Meadow over free ice cream cake, Lindsay ended up in court with “F*ck You” written on her fingernail, went to jail and then landed herself in rehab, then got into a fight with a staffer for refusing a breathalizer test, while parents of the year Dina and Michael Lohan tried to profit off it all, while other teen stars, like Justin Bieber, were getting into the usual trouble—inciting riots of pre-teen girls and getting inked.
Tags: 2010 year in review, Angelina Jolie, Apprentice, Betty White, Bret Michaels, charlie sheen, christina aguilera, Conan O'Brien, Denise Richards, Dina Lohan, Donald Trump, Elmo, Eminem, Erykah Badu, Grace Jones, Jay Leno, Jersey Shore, Jesse James, Jessica Simpson, John Mayer, justin bieber, Kat von D, katy perry, lady gaga, Lil Kim, Lindsay Lohan, M.I.A., Mel Gibson, michael lohan, Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, miley cyrus, Nicki Minaj, paris hilton, Perez Hilton, Playboy, Ricky Martin, Sandra Bullock, sesame street, Snooki, Tiger Woods