FRIDAY, JULY 16
The Sorcerer’s Apprentice
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Jay Baruchel, Alfred Molina, Monica Bellucci, Peyton List, Toby Kebbell, Ethan Peck
Directed by: Jon Turteltaub
Fresh from grooming his own daughter as a girl assassin in Kick-Ass, Nicolas Cage returns as yet another questionable adult role model for a baffled kid intern (Jay Baruchel) in this freaky fantasy adventure, while stretching his dramatic range from Bad Lieutenant to weird wizard Balthazar. The most pressing mystery here though is whether or not director Jon Turteltaub can cast enough of a spell to conjure a winning formula to pull off this supernatural Big Apple thriller, as he seemed to just miss the mark with Natural Treasure and its follow-up. But the entire mystical angle Turteltaub has since dubbed Nick’s World apparently sprung from Cage’s head, as he confessed: “Yeah, I want to be like a guy in a red velvet jacket with a giant silver wig with all these horses, and a carriage that blows through towns and scares everybody.” Hey Nick, that sounds terrifying, in a kinky sort of way.
FRIDAY, AUGUST 6
The Other Guys
Starring: Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg, Samuel L. Jackson, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Eva Mendes, Paris Hilton, Derek Jeter, Ray Stevenson, Michael Keaton, Anne Heche, Steve Coogan, Rob Riggle
Directed by: Adam McKay
Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan aren’t the only cop odd couple teaming up to wreak havoc on New York City law enforcement. Now Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg are a pair of buffoonish boys in blue looking to make points emulating the force’s heavy hitters—Samuel L. Jackson and The Rock—with moves picked up from the movies. Talladega Nights filmmaker Adam McKay may have already perfected his expertise dabbling in lunatic pairs with the dumb and dumber family escapades of Ferrell and John C. Reilly in Step Brothers. Rounding out what promises to be a curvaceous ensemble in The Other Guys are Eva Mendes, Anne Heche and Paris Hilton, and Yankee great Derek Jeter in his very own cameo playing himself.
FRIDAY, AUGUST 13
The Expendables
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Mickey Rourke, Jet Li, Bruce Willis, Dolph Lundgren, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, Eric Roberts, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Brittany Murphy, Randy Couture, Terry Crews
Directed by: Sylvester Stallone
Sylvester Stallone packs up his Rambo gear to direct himself, along with tough guys Jason Statham, Mickey Rourke and Jet Li, in this South American mercenary expedition solicited by Bruce Willis’ peculiar patron Mr. Church, to bring down a notorious tropical island dictator. Or will they? Stallone is Barney “The Schizo” Ross, the self-described brains as well as brawn behind this alienated band of gym body bruisers. Dolph Lundgren rounds out the mop-up mob of assassins for hire as a skilled sniper with a dark secret. And in a life-is-not-always-what-it-seems scenario, Eric Roberts is an exceedingly suspect ex-CIA operative in league with a treacherous sidekick, played by former wrestler “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. There’s also chance to catch glimpses of the late Brittany Murphy, and Arnold Schwarzenegger hangs out a little to exacerbate matters. Guess Arnie thought he could make more of an impact around here than tending to the California economic meltdown over at the governor’s command center.
FRIDAY, AUGUST 20
The Switch
Starring: Jason Bateman, Jennifer Aniston, Patrick Wilson, Juliette Lewis, Jeff Goldblum
Directed by: Josh Gordon and Will Speck
What’s with all these aging hottie superstars lately choosing movies about confused career women opting for donor fertilization single parenthood, and why are these celebs named Jennifer? Seems it’s turkey baster time again, and we’re not even near Thanksgiving yet: With the Jennifer Lopez romantic comedy The Back-Up Plan hardly into the first trimester of its theatrical release, Jennifer Aniston is turning up this summer as her own self-styled turkey baster mom in The Switch. Aniston is a 40-year-old fretting about her biological time clock and seven years after a successful artificial insemination, finds out her friend Wally (Jason Bateman), who secretly switched the sperm samples on her, is the real dad. Sounds like Aniston needs to look for more reliable men in her life, both in movies and the real world. This all-male take on female fetal obsessions is hatched—symbolically speaking—by Virgin Suicides scribe Jeffrey Eugenides, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps co-screenwriter Allan Loeb, and Blades of Glory helmers Josh Gordon and Will Speck.
