The lack of winter weather is not necessarily tragic to me. I am not ready to be cold, although the lingering warmth has created some confusion for a couple I know who were looking to celebrate their 15th wedding anniversary in Killington, Vermont on Thanksgiving. That plan was killed because there is no snow. But they’ll roll with it, the way they always do.
They met in 1984 and married in 1994. I say it with pride for them, actually, because these days divorce seems like sport for too many couples. After 25 years together, having to change plans because of the weather is no bid deal at all.
I was their best man. I was also the best man for another friend, and he and his wife are still together, too. Maybe that’s the secret, guys. I have always been the sage, wise counselor who could not heed his own advice. To that end, I am no longer married, as you all probably know. If I had chosen myself as my best man, things might be different.
We were all kids when they started dating. Few of us even understood their relationship in those early days, as they became completely and fully involved with each other from day one. Looking back now, given the fact they remain as close as they do, they were working on something much bigger than puppy love. High school sweethearts marrying and then imploding is an old tale, and I doubt they set out to buck the trend. Did they always know it would end up like this? When you are in love for the first time, the feeling is actually physical. You can feel it in your heart. For most, it fades. They hung on.
They have one child, a son. He is a smart, funny, delightful kid who is comfortable around adults and other kids. He’s got a creative mind and a great heart. These are things that can be taught and he is evidence of that. At a very early age, he had health problems, and it brought them together as a well-functioning team. As a family they have had other painful days and for a while it was a torrent of bad news. Instead of reaching out, they reached within.
As a husband, my friend is devoted and loyal and has achieved an almost Zen-like state when dealing with his wife, who has always been more high-strung and keen on life’s details. He’s the kind of guy who just rolls with it. Over the years, she has relaxed a little but still has some room to grow.
She has clearly taken her role as “mother” all the way to the bank. She is involved at school and home. Arts and crafts abound. Being this boy’s mother is her calling—it’s her life—and if you are around the family, you can feel it.
The best part is, Mom and Dad still seem to really like each other, and that is very big. In marriage, like is harder to keep alive than love. You can love someone with all your heart, but not like them sometimes. the, sometimes might turn into most times, and then it can all end. These two seem to find a way to keep liking each other.
I was so honored to have been asked to stand with them on the altar 15 years ago, and continue to marvel at their longevity. There are thousands of memories, tears, fights, laughs and kisses between them. The world needs more like them. They do not look over the fence; they recognize their blessings. It’s a team, a partnership that has never lost its fire, romance or friendship. It’s life at its finest, warts and all.
So, I wonder if I am a good-luck charm, although at six-feet-four-inches and 240 pounds, it would be pretty difficult to lug one of me around if you need some good fortune. But so far I am two-for-two as a best man; sort of the Joe Torre of weddings. I have the mojo.
Please contact my agent if you are interested in my services.
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