WEBSITE
I never do any research for this column, but usually I can infer enough about a video to make a slightly educated guess as to what they’re about (a kid with no padding tries to jump his skateboard over a rail and faceplants on cement? Hmm…wait, I’ve got it! The kid is an idiot). But this video for Labuat (?) throws a couple curve balls—it’s not in English, uses Flash and makes me feel like I just snorted OxiClean. So here’s a back story that I made up for it: A shy college kid has a crush on the most beautiful girl on campus. He sees the way she is mistreated and pines after her day and night. He’s also an animation major, and for his final project he makes this website. It illustrates the rollercoaster of emotions he feels for her. He summons the courage to IM the link to her, she sees it and goes to him and they fall in love. I have got to stop snorting OxiClean.
TRAILER
Fantastic Mr. Fox is a stop motion animated film by Wes Anderson (The Royal Tenenbaums, The Darjeeling Limited). I’d say it looks…all right. More like I Might See This Mr. Fox or I Won’t Be The One To Suggest It But If Someone Else Does I’ll Go Along Mr. Fox. Also, every time I quickly glance over the title I read “Fantastic Megan Fox” and if that were the movie we’re discussing I’d be writing this from the ticket line at the Deer Park IMAX. One thing that Mr. Fox has going for it is Megan Fox George Clooney voicing Mr. Fox and a cast of Anderson regulars filling in the other roles. Like Willem Dafoe, Jason Schwartzman, Bill Murray and Megan Fox Owen Wilson. Megan Fox The movie is about Megan Fox a fox who Megan Fox has to band together with Megan Fox other Megan Fox animals to Megan Fox Megan Fox fend off his neighbors Megan Fox. FanMegan Foxtastic Mr. Fox hits theaters on Nov. 13. Megan Fox.
PICTURES
Besides pierogi (yes), Natural Light (no) and smoking in bars and restaurants (at first it’s really shocking until you meet people that were born in Pennsylvania, at which point everything makes sense), college was also the first time I was introduced to John Deere. I believe it was my girlfriend at the time who brought me up to speed, and I think it went something like this:
Me: Who’s John Deere?
Her: It’s a company that makes tractors and farming equipment.
Me: Oh, OK.
Her: I’m gonna go dress like a whore, flirt with lots of guys and drink anything they buy me!
Good times. Anyway here’s a bunch of photos of Deere’s iconic green and yellow tractors and other machines, mixed with high dynamic range imaging. The result is a distorted and misleading appearance masking nothing more than a piece of equipment with a hollow inside that loves to be ridden. Now, about those pictures…
VIDEO
I like to keep a certain level of brevity in “Nothing But Net,” whether it be mocking someone dressed like Shrek at their own wedding or gushing/whining over a trailer or talking trash on an ex-girlfriend (man, what a bitch). But if I may get deep for the next 100 words or so, there are times when a man looks around and realizes there are things in this world that are bigger, more important and altogether greater than he is. This video—of the Kuroshio Sea Tank in Japan—gives you one of those feelings (watch it in high quality). At 115 feet by 89 feet, it’s the second largest aquarium tank on Earth, and is home to 80 species of marine life and four whale sharks. The silhouettes of people outside the tank give a little bit of an idea as to how big they are, but if you look to the left at the scuba diver inside the tank, you’ll really see how much the creatures dwarf us. And yet there they are, swimming around behind a sheet of glass that’s almost two feet thick. It’s enough to make you stop and think. Megan Fox.
Follow me on Twitter!
The media wants you to believe that the Twitter outage last week stemmed from some Russian Internet attack (in Russia, tweets write you!). That’s garbage. The real reason was because I tweeted some crazy stuff. Check out the madness at twitter.com/BradPareso
