Carrying A Picture

By Ed Lowe

Paul Keker, 51, of Deer Park, still hopes that one day he will meet his mom. She is 64, if she is alive.

Paul is my cousin. He and his younger sister, Mary, were adopted (separately, from different families) in the late 1950s by my mother’s (late) sister, Geraldine, and Gerry’s (late) husband, my Uncle Frank. They lived in Lindenhurst. Frank taught English at Amityville High School. He also coached junior varsity basketball and played a mean game of four-wall handball.

He also revealed, however involuntarily, and to the consternation and embarrassment of other family members, that he could be something of a nutcase. He suffered fits of boastfulness, usually about being quicker and smarter than everyone else, including his kids. Once, he so berated a young Paul for being “klutzy” that my father threatened to punch him in the nose and knock him out, if he said another word.

Paul says he always wondered about his birth parents, about his ancestral origins, about the circumstances of him being “surrendered” for adoption when he was almost 4years old.

Out of respect for Gerry and Frank, a respect Paul believes was enhanced by what he refers to as his Irish guilt, whether from nature or nurture, he kept his curiosities to himself, until after my Aunt Gerry died, in 1992.

He revealed his longings to my mother, by then the sole surviving member of that generation of siblings. Hesaid he had reason to believe that his birth mother’s birth name might be McCluskey.

He said that, when he got older, his parents told him a fewtidbits about his biological parents. But they never wanted to say much, because, he said, they feared he would “take off,” which evidently meant, “grow up and move away,” no strings attached.

“So, I stayed,” he said last week, “and Mary took off.” Twelve years after his adoptive mother’s death, Paul filed his requests through the New York Foundling Adoption Information Registry for “non-identifying information.”

Bythen it was 2004, and he was 50. He received a three-page, typewritten letter six weeks later from an administrative supervisor in the NewYorkFoundling Hospital’s Office of Record Information.

“You were due to be born on Aug. 27 and were actually born on Aug. 28, 1954,” it read. “You were discharged on Sept. 3, 1954 and entered a baby nursery. Rev. B.P. Shaffer, O.P., of St. Vincent Ferrer’s Catholic Church, baptized you on Sept. 7, 1954. You came into care with us on Sept. 8, 1954. From Nov. 3, 1954 until Feb. 4, 1957, you were in one foster home, where you were well taken care of and thrived. Your birth mother finally signed a surrender on Jan. 3, 1957. Your adoptive family brought you home on Feb. 4, 1957, and the record says they were delighted with you.

You were legally adopted on July 22, 1958.

“Your birth mother was admitted [to] a maternity shelter on June 23, 1954. Her mother had intended to keep the pregnancy a secret from your birth mother’s siblings. [Your birth mother] made a good adjustment in the shelter and was well-liked by the other girls. After delivery, she returned to the shelter on Sept. 3, 1954. The court sent her back to the residential setting….This was very upsetting to her because she would have preferred to be with her own mother. Your maternal grandmother was also furious about this and wanted to take you home although she was working and did not have adequate space in her apartment.

“…Your alleged birth father was born in 1940 and Catholic. Hewas in his second year of high school….[He] was 5 feet 8 and 150 pounds. He had black hair, brown eyes and olive complexion. He was born [of] Maltese and Irish parenthood.

“Although your mother’sfamily took him to court, he refused to acknowledge paternity. Your birth mother probably had lingering feelings about him but she and her mother decided that it was best not to have anything further to do with him. The pregnancy made it difficult for your birth mother to resume a normal social life and she was reluctant to return to the neighborhood. “[She] was known byher nickname. She was born in 1940 and Catholic. She lived for awhile with her grandparents on the West Coast. Her grandmother was deceased. She and two of her brothers were in a residential home from 1948 until 1950 when her step-father was ill. She was of Irish and German parentage. She was 5 feet 6 inches tall and 120 pounds. She had light brown hair, blue eyes and a fair complexion. She was in the seventh grade. She had a good school record except for truancy.”

Small wonder that the following paragraph mattered most to Paul: “Your birth mother and her mother wanted you to be kept in the family. Youbirth mother held you with affection. She requested a copy of your baptismal certificate and wanted two of her relatives to be your godparents. She brought you shoes and presents. She carried a picture of you in her wallet. She brought you home for visits and showed you to the relatives. She tried to get married and hoped that her boyfriend would help to raise you. Finally, she realized in December of 1956 that she was unable to provide you with an adequate home. She realized it was in your best interest to be raised in a loving and caring family and decided to surrender you.”

Paul doesn’t know if he will give up the search. However, “…the letter laid to rest a couple of demons,” he said.