Articles Tagged ‘Up in the Air’
I showed a lady friend these pictures of nature’s fiercest inhabitants as babies and she responded that she would rather raise baby animals than baby children. This is a great idea. Our country is already overpopulated with ungrateful, incompetent, overweight kids. What’s that Billy? Your crush doesn’t want to go to the middle school dance with you? It’s because you weigh 200 pounds and ride a Segway to class.
Two thousand and nine was a banner year for the Internet, if that banner is covered in ads for car insurance and home mortgage refinancing, “Team Jacob” and “Team Edward” stickers and shitstains from the Twitter bird. What better way to remember the ups and downs and spam e-mails trying to enlarge my penis that my dad forwards me than with the First Annual NBNnnys? I’d like to thank all those who helped me narrow down the hundreds of NBN features to these winners: my Ouija board, a bottle of Percocet and my magic 8-ball.
While the news media sometimes gets a well deserved public spanking for playing with the truth, movies really indulged in re-orchestrating history this year. And…
If there’s a job that can be viewed as even more loathsome than say, IRS investigator or debt collector, it’s George Clooney’s odious occupation in the not exactly uplifting downsizing satire, Up in the Air. As carefree corporate hitman, Clooney is Ryan Bingham, an outsourced specialist in firing workers for big business, so that they don’t have to.
Did you know Pennsylvania has everything the South holds near and dear? It’s got pickup trucks, plenty of people hew tawk liek thays and no laws prohibiting smoking indoors (the only thing I don’t envy about Mad Men). And Wal-Mart. Sweet Larry-the-Cable-Guy-mud-flaps does it have Wal-Mart.