Long Island News

I don’t even know what to say about California anymore. If all 50 states were classmates in high school, California would be the alternative indie douchebag who always talked about bands you’d never heard of and wore clothes made of hemp and used adjectives like “gnarly.” Sure they have sports teams, but nobody from California watches them, and that’s ridiculous when you consider that the state has three football teams, three basketball teams, three hockey teams (IN CALIFORNIA) and five baseball teams. They bought David Beckham to play for L.A.’s soccer team and like a month later, he was all “Oy, whut the fook ’um I dewin’ eya?”