Articles Tagged ‘Pareso’

The First Annual NBNnnys

Two thousand and nine was a banner year for the Internet, if that banner is covered in ads for car insurance and home mortgage refinancing, “Team Jacob” and “Team Edward” stickers and shitstains from the Twitter bird. What better way to remember the ups and downs and spam e-mails trying to enlarge my penis that my dad forwards me than with the First Annual NBNnnys? I’d like to thank all those who helped me narrow down the hundreds of NBN features to these winners: my Ouija board, a bottle of Percocet and my magic 8-ball.

If Attila the Hun Could Cook, He’d Be My Mom

A typical Sunday dinner at casa de Pareso —assorted barbecued meats, well-prepared vegetables, bread loaded with butter (my mom has to keep her cholesterol over 350 or else she dies. Her heart is like the bus in Speed). High-quality food in copious amounts is the standard. But when we have guests? Call Iron Chef, because there’ll be a kitchen battle unlike any you’ve ever seen, and with a record of 4,521-0, Mama Patty has earned her nickname “Julius Caesar Salad.”