Articles Tagged ‘oxiclean’
Two thousand and nine was a banner year for the Internet, if that banner is covered in ads for car insurance and home mortgage refinancing, “Team Jacob” and “Team Edward” stickers and shitstains from the Twitter bird. What better way to remember the ups and downs and spam e-mails trying to enlarge my penis that my dad forwards me than with the First Annual NBNnnys? I’d like to thank all those who helped me narrow down the hundreds of NBN features to these winners: my Ouija board, a bottle of Percocet and my magic 8-ball.
The perks of being a journalist are few and far between—the closest I’ll ever get to my dream Aston Martin is the other side of a velvet rope during the press day of the NY Auto Show. But one plus is that people assume you’re an absolute monster of the English language. I can make up words and people are afraid to call my bluff. Vulexinard? It means soft-spoken—don’t tell me you didn’t know that. Also, did you know I won every spelling bee in middle school? I didn’t, but question it and I’ll spell onomatopoeia so fast you’ll forget what nouns are.
I never do any research for this column, but usually I can infer enough about a video to make a slightly educated guess as to what they’re about (a kid with no padding tries to jump his skateboard over a rail and faceplants on cement? Hmm…wait, I’ve got it! The kid is an idiot). But this video for Labuat (?) throws a couple curve balls—it’s not in English, uses Flash and makes me feel like I just snorted OxiClean.