Articles Tagged ‘Larry The Cable Guy’

The First Annual NBNnnys

Two thousand and nine was a banner year for the Internet, if that banner is covered in ads for car insurance and home mortgage refinancing, “Team Jacob” and “Team Edward” stickers and shitstains from the Twitter bird. What better way to remember the ups and downs and spam e-mails trying to enlarge my penis that my dad forwards me than with the First Annual NBNnnys? I’d like to thank all those who helped me narrow down the hundreds of NBN features to these winners: my Ouija board, a bottle of Percocet and my magic 8-ball.

Nothing But Net: For the Week of Oct. 29 – Nov. 4

Don’t let anyone ever tell you Rednecks aren’t funny. Larry the Cable Guy is the funniest guy I know. “Git-R-Done!” Good one, you dog! It’s funny, because he spells 67 percent of his catchphrase wrong, but made more money in the past 10 minutes than I will in the next decade. And how Rednecks marry one or two branches over on the family tree. Like that’s even allowed! And then they have a wedding and throw empty shotgun shells instead of rice and make babies with eight fingers and 27 toes. Laugh out loud.

Nothing But Net: For the Week of Sept. 10 – Sept. 16

Did you know Pennsylvania has everything the South holds near and dear? It’s got pickup trucks, plenty of people hew tawk liek thays and no laws prohibiting smoking indoors (the only thing I don’t envy about Mad Men). And Wal-Mart. Sweet Larry-the-Cable-Guy-mud-flaps does it have Wal-Mart.