Articles Tagged ‘Jason Sudeikis’
Saying superheroes are awesome is like saying Paris Hilton is a mindless bimbo—no need to beat around the bush. But I find it hard to believe that living with a superpower is always great. How does anybody understand Bruce Wayne when he’s ordering food at a restaurant? You mean to tell me Peter Parker didn’t once shoot webbing out when he was at a rock concert or trying on a suit? It’s not easy to live with premature web shooting, let me tell you.
Pop culture drama has been so uninspired lately. Jon and Kate Gosselin are still getting divorced? You don’t say! Lindsay Lohan is fighting with Samantha Ronson again? Get out! Something something something Michael Jackson? (*Sticks hand out, bends wrist*) Girl, he ain’t never goin’ away. Heck, some idiot flew a giant balloon made of tin foil and even he got on the news. Well push the imposters aside and bury Michael Jackson ladies and gentlemen (he smells like a rusted amusement park covered in eggs), because Mel Gibson is back. Homophobe, anti-Semite and alcoholic? FINALLY we can have some real headlines: “Drunk Gibson hijacks bus of gays, crashes into synagogue.”