American Idol, the show responsible for everyone from Kelly Clarkson to William Hung, is back on the air for its ninth season. With the departure of veteran judge Paula Abdul and last-second announcement that this would be silver tongued Simon Cowell’s final run before jumping ship to his own The X Factor, are we really glad the show is back? And will we ever see it again? Here to discuss such weighty matters are Press editors and columnists (and Idol addicts) Jaclyn Gallucci, Michael Patrick Nelson and Brad Pareso.
JACLYN: I watch Idol religiously but once there’s a winner, it’s graduation for me. I’m all about the bad auditions and the competition. After they walk across that stage all teary eyed to claim their record deal, which will guarantee their songs—inevitably written by other people—get played on stations like Z100 around the clock along with other visionary artists like Ke$ha and Aubrey O’Day, I’m out, kids. I’m a teacher, they are my senior class. See ya! Have a nice life. If you ever find a David Archuleta song on my iPod you have permission to take a nail file to my eye.
MIKE: I agree. With Idol, it truly is all about the journey. Even Adam Lambert—who was, in my opinion, the most compelling contestant in the show’s history—has become substantially less interesting since finishing the competition. This year, though, I’m not even sure I’m invested in the competition itself. That’s not in any way due to Paula’s absence—I’ve been calling for her ouster since my first season watching the show—though it may be, in part, due to Simon’s impending departure. I can’t imagine the show without him (frankly, I don’t think it will last two seasons once he’s gone), and I’m not excited to watch him make snide comments about exiting stage left.
JACLYN: If anything makes Idol worth watching this season, it is definitely Paula getting kicked to the curb. I used to Tivo the show just so I could fast forward through her nonsense. It was like she went to ThinkExist.com before every show and printed out a list of quotes from the “inspirational” category as a script, downed a bottle of pills, filled her Coca-Cola cup with Jameson and hoped she made it to her spinny chair. That said, once Simon goes, I go with him.
BRAD: Paula leaving makes the actual show watchable, but creates a huge scarcity of quality YouTube videos and material for “The Target.” When she and Simon inevitably reunite on The X Factor that will be rectified. I’m interested in seeing how AI carries on without Captain $300 V-Neck T-Shirt. I’m sure the show can find someone to say hilarious and rude things to Hollywood hopefuls. It’s not like the guy is in touch with what modern pop music is anyway—he signed Il Divo.
MIKE: Say what you will, but Il Divo sold a lot of records to a lot of people who still buy records. Still, the guy’s taste is questionable. He is the voice of the viewer, by and large, in that he enjoys tearing down the dreams of second-rate singers (and don’t we all have such aspirations? To tear down the dreams of others, I mean; not dreams of being second-rate singers ourselves), but the singers he chooses to champion are rarely much better than those whom he chooses to crap on. Still, from what I’ve seen of this year’s auditions, there’s more than enough crap to go around—and not much worth championing.
JACLYN: Not much worth championing? Come on AVRIL LAVIGNE was a guest judge and there is no one more qualified to wring out raw talent from a crowd than her. She’s so punk rock, man. OK I’m about to throw up in my mouth. If it weren’t for Mary J. Blige only saying about 10 words and laughing the entire time during her stint as guest judge, Avril would have easily taken the cake as worst guest judge so far. I’m just hoping Ellen doesn’t disappoint. The guest judges haven’t exactly been stellar.
BRAD: I bet money Ellen does her goofy dance at one point during the nationwide voting part of the show. She’s so hip! Oh, and shout out to Medford’s Leah Laurenti for repping LI and wowing the judges!