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Jerry’s Ink: Doesn’t Anybody Lie Anymore?


When I was a little boy I remember walking on Avenue U in Brooklyn with my dad. I was 7 years old and I remember asking him what the difference was between Republicans and Democrats. My dad, a good Democrat and a union man, said, “The Republicans are for the rich people and the Democrats are for poor people like us.”

“Oh.” I thought, “This is easy. I’m going to become a Republican because I want to be rich.”

To a 7-year-old, it was a no-brainer if all you had to do to be rich was become a Republican. I remember thinking, why would anyone want to be poor and a Democrat?


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Lately, I realize the reason I should have become a Democrat is because they are more successful at getting elected than Republicans, and that’s because they are so much more adept than Republicans at lying to the American public.

OOOOOPPPPPS, did I say lying? I’m so, so sorry. No Democrat ever lies. Barack Obama, Eliot Spitzer, Anthony Weiner, John Edwards, Joe Biden, Chuck Schumer, Nancy Pelosi never lie…

They do misspeak.

I wish that many years ago, when my children confronted me about my lying about the existence of the Easter Bunny, I had the presence of mind to say, “I didn’t lie, I mis-spoke.”

Misspoke is a word used when a politician—Democrat, Republican, Conservative or Liberal—tells you, “I know what I told you was not true, but the lying words formed in my brain and came tumbling out of my lying mouth before I could stop them; hence, I mis-spoke.”

Here’s an example of misspeaking at its best: President Obama recently tried to muscle the U.S. Supreme Court when he feared they would rule against the Obamacare mandate because the government has no right to insist you and I must buy health insurance or be fined for breaking the law.

Obama knew he was lying or, as his followers like to say, misspeaking. For crying out loud, he was a professor of constitutional law. That big a misspeak can cause Obama’s nose to grow like Pinocchio’s.

Then he said this would be the first time the Supreme Court would be overturning a law that had been passed by Congress by a wide margin. That is not exactly a lie, but it is a lying exaggeration.

It passed by seven lousy votes, and that was accomplished by bribing and arm-twisting Democratic members of the House who were afraid that the American people would turn against them, as indeed they did in the election of 2010.

Republicans, on the other hand, are not smart enough to misspeak.

They have managed to lose this upcoming presidential election by saying some of the dumbest things ever said in a political campaign and sticking to them.

An example was when Obama tried to include Catholic colleges and hospitals in a proposal that would require companies and insurance providers to cover the costs of birth control.

This was a stupid move by Obama until Rick Santorum, the most dangerous presidential candidate since Aaron Burr, jumped in with both feet and talked about his plans for birth control and his view of women’s rights. In short, his views can be translated to mean that women have no rights and should be relegated to being baby-making machines.

All of a sudden the Democrats talked about the Republicans not wanting insurance to pay for birth control as a health issue and as part of a Republican “War on Women.” Mitt Romney—dancing on a political tightrope—said, “Me, too, me, too,” to whatever idiotic proclamation Santorum was making about women. There went the women’s vote.

The Democrats showed everyone the best way to handle a stupid remark by one of their own when Democratic strategist Hilary Rosen stupidly attacked Ann Romney and said a woman isn’t a woman unless she’s toting that barge and lifting that bale and paying income tax.

The Democrats didn’t even give Rosen a chance to say she misspoke. Obama threw her under the bus.

Not only did the Democrats throw Rosen under the bus, they ran the bus back and forth over her chubby body.

Obama took a page from the Occupy Wall Street grifters and started a class-warfare agenda, talking about 99 percent versus the wealthy 1 percent.

Sadly, class warfare works until a country runs out of other people’s cash. This is why Obama can’t lose.

Now that the Republicans have Mitt Romney—a smart, decent, boring man who could probably get the economy straightened out—most Independent voters will continue to remember Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich, Rick Perry and the other mangy candidates who destroyed the Republican Party, maybe forever.

Wait until this summer. It’s going to be a circus. Come to East Hampton and watch formerly “Disappointed Democrats” run over each other in their rush to give Democratic candidates checks for their campaigns.

Watch Democratic fundraising beggars/politicians like Chuck Schumer zero in on those nasty Liberal/Democrat hedge-fund boobs who think they can buy some time before Obama swallows them up and spits them out.

Of course, Obama will come to the Hamptons and he will hold fundraisers while sitting in an armored Brink’s truck. Millionaires will be throwing themselves under the treads of the truck screaming, “Don’t go. First take my check. Please!”

Thousands of good Democrats will be standing on the hoods of their Mercedes waving $100 bills, trying to toss them into the windows of Obama’s speeding limousine.

What is it like for the party I decided on when I was 7 years old?

Have you ever been to a Republican fundraiser in the Hamptons? It’s a lonely business. A handful of serious-looking people eating greasy pork rinds, stale pretzels and potato chips. The doomed candidate is putting up a brave front trying to figure out if the money offered will be enough to pay for his Jitney fare back to New York City.

There’s a great scene in the movie Casablanca where the inspector, Claude Rains, asks Rick (Humphrey Bogart) why he came to Casablanca.

Rick says, “I came for the waters.”

“But Rick, there are no waters in Casablanca.”

“I was misinformed,” answers Rick.

If you stop and ask me why I’ve been a Republican all these years, I can only tell you, “I was misinformed.”

It’s up to you to figure out if I’m misspeaking or not.

More articles filed under Columns,Jerry's Ink

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