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Mother’s Day Quotes: Funny Mother’s Day Quotes


It’s almost Mother’s Day. For those who don’t know, well it’s Sunday, May 9, now get your ass off the computer and go get something for mom. For those who do, here are some quotes to make you laugh. Happy Mother’s Day!

“My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.” – Groucho Marx

“A printed card means nothing except that you are too lazy to write to the woman who has done more for you than anyone in the world. And candy! you take a box to mother, and then eat most of it yourself. A pretty sentiment.”  - Ann Jarvis, Founder of Mother’s Day 


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“Mothers are all slightly insane.” – J.D. Salinger

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” – Phyllis Diller

“All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.” – Oscar Wilde

“My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.” – Buddy Hackett

“My mother had to send me to the movies with my birth certificate, so that I wouldn’t have to pay the extra fifty cents that the adults had to pay.” – Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

“My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.” – Mark Twain

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