With Kevin Smith as the reigning guy who turned talking dirty into an art form in movies, an interview can be, let’s say, a little on the X-rated side. Uncharacteristically subdued initially during this gab session about his latest comedy, Cop Out, Smith rapidly accelerated when the subject turned to a drama a bit more unscripted—his confrontation and public humiliation via Southwest Airlines, in what he seemed to be describing as an act of fat terrorism by the crew against him. Press Alert: Just don’t get him started…
Q: It’s just you alone today?
KEVIN SMITH: Um, I think so. I think!
Q: So, why this film?
KS: To me, I went after it as Looney Tunes. And Bruce and Tracy are Daffy and Bugs. But when Zack And Miri came out, it didn’t do what I thought it was gonna do. So when that didn’t happen, I was completely crestfallen.
And if I had written a movie at that point, it would have been about this poor, fat director whose movie didn’t make enough money, you know what I’m sayin’?
So I didn’t figure out what I wanted to do next. And I was like, “I can’t just sit around, but I don’t have anything to say right now.” And into my lap came A Couple of Dicks. Which sounds vaguely homoerotic! But that was the original title of Cop Out.
So I read the script and I thought it was really funny and shit. And I was like, “Dude, what do you want me to do? I can’t punch this up, this shit is funny. It needs no help from me.” And Warner Bros. said, “we don’t want you to rewrite it.” So I said, “Do you want me to be in it, or like do Craft Services?” “No, we want you to direct it.”
[popup url=”http://assets.longislandpress.com/photos/gallery.php?gazpart=view&gazimage=1061″]Click here to view photos from Cop Out[/popup]
And I was like, “Direct?” “Yeah.” I was like, “Dude, nobody ever hands me a script to direct. I’m not that guy. If I’m not the guy making Kevin Smith movies, then who am I.” And they were like, “We think you’re ready as a director to try something out of your comfort zone.” And I figured I might be able to handle this, and get my head around it.
But I’m into shooting people talking. And the moment there’s action, I tune out. It’s boring. I’m with watching people talk, and shooting the human drama. Two dudes talking to each other, that’s my bread and butter.
But I thought I could do this. Because it’s just Clerks with cops, you know? But at its best moments, making this movie felt like kids making a fucking YouTube clip. It didn’t feel like work.
Q: So where do you go from here?
KS: I’m aiming to do the Forrest Gump of sports movies. And it’ll be a big fat valentine to the hockey game.
Q: Speaking of fat, about your off-screen airplane caper…..
KS: It’s all on my blog. I would waste time talking about it now. But you read it there. So it would be a waste of time to go over all of it now. But to make a long story short…
My parents taught me, if you get fucked and you don’t wanna get fucked, then you start screaming. And that’s what happened. I got lied to, I got fucked over, and I started complaining.
And the airline was like, “Well, something did happen. But he is fat. And fat people should buy two seats.” And they put it out there as about weight, and it wasn’t about weight. It was a matter of a dude who bounced me for no reason, except maybe he didn’t like a joke that I told on my way down the jetway.
And they said, “You have to get off because the pilot said you’re a safety concern.” And I was like, “Are you kidding me?” They lied, again and again. Then two days later they said, “The pilot didn’t say it.”
I was literally sitting there for five seconds, when they came over. I said, “If I’m just hitting my seat and the pilot wants me off, where did you get that message, man? You were all the way in the airport, and the pilot’s here. And the pilot can’t even see me. I literally just sat down, and here you are.”