Most people would look at me and say, “Wow Brad. You’ve got it all. Great looks. An amazing personality. One of the funniest columns in the history of written word. And a horrible really well-paying job.” And I’d look at them and say, “Don’t ever make eye contact with me.” But after that, I’d explain that while I’m really grateful for the upbringing I got, it never fit me. I may have been born on Long Island in the 1980s, but I belong somewhere else. Namely, a 1970s ghetto filled with bedazzled-suits, wonderful hair and wide knowledge of karate. I’m talking of course, about (*deep breath*) BLACK DINOOOO MITEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I saw Where the Wild Things Are this weekend because I figured Black Dynamite wouldn’t be playing around here. Well slap a leather coat on me and call me Shaft, because it is playing around here. And to get everyone even more amped to see Michael Jai White say things like “I thought I told you honkies from the CIA, Black Dynamite is outta the game!” there’s a website where you can Black Dynamite YOURSELF. What’s that? You want to see what famous celebrities would look like in the Black Dynamite universe? Well all right then!
And finally, this is who I see when I look in the mirror. More fly than a jet in the sky, more groove than a dancer with somethin’ to prove, WHITE DINOOO MITEEEEEEE: