All games have rules. Like in Monopoly…pass go and you get two hundred dollars…or in Scrabble, the triple points only go to the first person who puts a word on the pink square, not the second one who builds off it…and civilized people accept and follow rules.
I contend that friendship has rules too.
“Rules for friendship?” you say. Isn’t friendship supposed to come naturally and be based on peace and love?”
Yes, it is…..in Disneyland! In reality, there’s more to it than that….because life tends to mix itself in with friendship and as our lives evolve so must our friendships (“like sands through the hourglass…..”)
I imagine the original boxtop of the “Game of Friendship” had the rules written on it. Remember? It was on your toy closet shelf on top of “The Dating Game” (I always turned the knob and got the bowler!)….anyway, someone threw it out (the boxtop that is) and now I am going to re-create them for you in this multi-part feature I will continue on http://www.thevuvclub.com.
First, why are the rules of engagement all too often unspoken?
Because some rules are so simple and obvious no one thinks they need to be said.
Second, why should the rules of engagement of friendship be spoken?
Because there are those for whom the rules do not seem simple and obvious and those for whom the rules do not come simply and obviously….and everyone deserves a chance at real friendship. Whether your vuvclub is you and one other vuv or many…
So I am going to tell you the rules….one at a time…over time.
Rule 1: Start with people you like.
Don’t say, “Duh!” If you just said “Duh!” you are not giving this real thought. How many times have you entered into friendships or attempted to build friendships with people you did not 100% unequivocally like? You may have wanted to like them because they had a similar interest or were tied to others already in your life but something about them made hair somewhere on your body stand up….and “true like” was missing from the equation.
Start with people you like…..’cause if you really truly like them you can work with the rest. If you love their nature, their core, their heart then you can overlook and/or deal with other differences.
Look at the people you call your friends and ask yourself when you are all alone and no one can hear you if they are all people you really like…..you know, like “love”….and we will take it from there.