Wanted: Children’s Champion who is committed to saving children with disabilities and prepared to fight traditional fire breathing dragon by extraordinary means. Champion must have the following qualifications:
MUST be psychologically strong and fire resistant to large and scaly dragon’s fiery breath. Champion must be prepared to put other responsibilities on hold to wage war against grievous injustices committed against children with disabilities.
MUST have a sword of truth, justice or virtue because dragon’s breath is deadly. Champion must have experience scaling walls of castles and fortresses because fiery dragon is encased within self- contained concrete marble structure built to withstand the cries of children and the pleas of their parents.
MUST have an ecologically friendly means of transportation since private jet planes have already been determined to be inappropriate by Congress given the travel of General Motors, Ford and Chrysler. As a result, Champion must be prepared to travel and trek great distances to the Northern Lights of the Aurora Borealis by means of old maps left by early American explorers such as Lewis and Clarke.
MUST have a good sense of direction and strong purpose of mind since travel to Northern Lights has diverting cross roads and confusing signs. Champion must be prepared to hack through inaccuracies, misinformation and misrepresentations which will appear as the Marble Fortress is approached.
MUST have a strong ego since dragon will breathe fiery arguments to personally attack, demonize, vilify and threaten Champion’s family, friends and colleagues by slashing funding, by doing program audits and by sending secret emails to others on the field of Educational Battle. Champion must be prepared to lay siege to the Marble Fortress for a long cold winter because dragon has indoor heating system which protects it from the ravages of the cold. Dragon also has extensive legal resources which children with disabilities and their parents do not have.
MUST have a persistence that will allow for a long pitched battle. Champion must love children, justice and educational excellence because dragon will offer the “mysteries and rituals of the CAP Society” which might distract Champion from the True Path. Champion must persevere until the fiery Dragon agrees to strike down its regulations and administrative procedures to bury them within the Moratorium of Regional Need where no child with a disability can venture.
Will accept applications for review from youtube.com so long as the Grimms’ Fairytale format is followed. Although men and women must submit formal applications, Angels need only appear. If you know a Champion who may have some time or is presently unemployed do not recommend this adventure. Applicant must be the best of the best and the bravest of the brave to assume this challenge. Champion must be prepared to start immediately because children with disabilities cannot wait since “Holy Order of the Restraining” runs out in the spring.
Compensation is a comprehensive package of benefits consisting of love and accolades from children with disabilities and their families forever. Will provide photo opportunities, banners and cheering section of devoted supporters.