It’s a chilly evening, the first night of December, officially the start of the holiday season. While most Long Islanders are buzzing around buying gifts for their loved ones (it’s Cyber Monday), I’m waiting in my car in the Staples parking lot on the corner of Route 110 and Jericho Turnpike in Huntington. I’m covering a charity that donates toys to needy kids, and while I’m waiting to meet Ethan, our photographer, I watch shoppers bustle in and out of Staples, arms filled with packages. I am disgusted. In my head I run through the laundry list of people I need to buy gifts for and my mounting bills, and I feel sick. Distraction: I’ll turn on the radio. It’s official, says 1010 WINS: We are in a recession. Great! I snap off the radio as Ethan pulls up. We’re ready to go. I jump in his car. He asks how my day was and I immediately launch into a tirade about my financial woes. I have no money, my cable and phone bills are too much, my car payment is late and I’m still paying for the vacation I took to Montauk. By the time I finish my rant we’ve pulled up behind the brightly painted Toys of Hope van parked at a Nassau motel where many homeless people stay. It’s almost 9 p.m. and a man who looks eerily like Santa Claus is unloading bags and bags out of the back of the van.
The white-bearded man in the blue Toys of Hope vest is Brian Hansen, and he cheerfully rattles off his job descriptions at the organization: director of operations/ maintenance guy/ repair man/ delivery and pickup guy/and, ironically, Santa Claus. I knew it! He barely stops unloading long enough to catch his breath and tell me that the best part of his “job” (air quotes) is the smiles on the faces of the kids—the same kids circling around the massive pile growing before their eyes right there in the parking lot of the modest motel. Brian’s air quotes around the word “job” were displayed for two reasons, he tells me. The first: He barely considers this work. The second: Nobody at Toys of Hope gets paid. It’s 100-percent volunteer. Wait—it’s freezing, it’s dark and these people are outside toting toys in the middle of the night for pure selfless reasons? It suddenly becomes clear to me that I’m worrying about the wrong things after all.
A grateful child, mistaking me for one of the do-gooders who brought him toys, runs past me and yells, “Thank you! This is the best day of my life!” As I’m about to set him straight, a tall woman, hiding under a baseball cap and a mass of black curly hair, comes at me with a toothy grin and asks, “Isn’t this just wonderful?”
This is Melissa Doktofsky, founder of Toys of Hope.
Today, Doktofsky woke up to a phone call from her biggest sponsor to find out that it was pulling out and she will essentially lose all her funding for 2009. Even though she is battling a 103-degree fever, she is out in the freezing cold less than 12 hours after the call, handing out toys and clothes to homeless families, who proclaim over and over that she just saved the holidays for them.
In 1994, Doktofsky started Toys of Hope, a nonprofit organization whose sole purpose is to provide toys, books, clothing, activities and other items to needy and homeless children and their families. The 39-year-old South Shore native says that she came from a family where she wanted for nothing but was taught early on that although she was privileged, not everyone else was as fortunate. “I was born into it,” she says, telling how she used to give her toys away when she was a child. “My parents always told me to be generous.” Although those words make her blush, the lesson was one that would propel her as a philanthropist and a humanitarian.
“I’m just doing what’s right,” she says humbly.
Some would say it goes beyond doing what’s right. Doktofsky has dedicated the last 14 years of her life to taking care of strangers. Tonight is no different: She is not only braving the cold, she’s got that pesky fever that kept her bedridden throughout the Thanksgiving holiday. Still, she’s delivering toys to children she has never met.
The driving force behind the organization’s mission is that all children, regardless of financial status, race, religion or nationality, are deserving of those things that can help give them a happier and more fulfilling life.
“A new toy can mean everything to a needy or homeless child. It provides fun and enjoyment and gives a child a sense of pride in having something of their very own,” says Doktofsky. “But we are really struggling this year,” she adds. There’s been a 50 percent increase in the number of calls Toys of Hope has gotten since last year, according to Doktofsky.
And with the apparent economic downturn, it may get worse. According to a report released by the Nassau-Suffolk Coalition for the Homeless in 2007 (the latest statistics available), homeless families are a bigger problem in New York and Long Island than in the rest of the country: Nationwide, 34 percent of the homeless are families with children, while most of the rest are single men. On Long Island, 61 percent of the homeless are families. Those are the families Doktofsky and Toys of Hope are trying to keep warm, fed and happy this holiday season.
Parking Lot Angel
Like no other charity on Long Island, says Doktofsky, Toys of Hope makes no profit. There are no paid employees. Every single dollar of donations goes to the families in need. The massive operation is run essentially by Doktofsky, Hansen and Melissa’s husband Andrew Doktofsky, who works full days as an attorney, then loads his car and delivers into the night. Toys of Hope is funded wholly by sponsors. The Huntington Station warehouse where all the toys and materials are stored is sponsored, the van, its maintenance and gas, sponsored. Donations made in dollar amounts are used to buy families what they need and ask for, in the correct sizes. The charity works with case workers, churches, schools and libraries. Doktofsky says that they never have to go looking for a family to help—“They always find us,” she says. “And that’s what we are here for.” Some families are adopted so that they request specific needs and Toys of Hope takes them shopping, and not just for toys. One Hauppauge family was in dire need of winter coats and pots and pans to cook with. “It’s not just the holidays—people are in need year round,” says Hansen.
Not every night is as joyful as this, however. Last week Doktofsky and Hansen drove to a fast-food parking lot in Mastic at 2 a.m. to meet a family living in their car. The duo dropped off toiletries, food and blankets so the family could make it through another week.
And then there are nights like these, nights when Toys of Hope surprises seven or eight families living in a motel with more gifts than they have ever seen.
Ebony, 27, stands behind the growing sea of children poring over boxes filled with everything from brand new winter coats and socks to board games, Barbies and stuffed animals. Her eyes tear up a little, with a mixture of gratitude and amazement. The mother of four explains that this is the first time she and her husband have ever been homeless—and they certainly weren’t expecting a drop-off of presents.
“We already sat them [the kids] down and explained about Christmas this year,” says the baby-faced young woman. “We told them there weren’t going to be any presents, but not because they were bad but because Mommy and Daddy couldn’t make it happen. They are such good kids, they understood.”
As if on cue, Ebony’s 5-year-old breaks away from the mayhem of gift giving, his tiny cheeks flush from the combination of cold and smiling. He proudly shows his mother a set of cars he obtained. “Look, Ma!” he yells, before rushing back to join the rest of the children. Ebony lovingly rubs his head.
“This is really incredible. They wouldn’t have anything if [Toys of Hope] didn’t come,” she says.
And while children are the focus of Toys of Hope, nobody is excluded. Ever.
The commotion in front of the motel is hard to miss, even for passersby. A man rides up on his bike and looks on curiously. Seeing him hang back, Doktofsky approaches him and asks if there’s anything he needs. Reluctantly the man, whose name is Jeffrey, says he could use some socks and maybe a bar of soap. Doktofsky and Hansen rip into boxes and bombard Jeffrey with camouflage T-shirts, warm turtlenecks, socks and a winter jacket. “Here’s a fleece blanket,” Brian says as he launches the rolled-up blanket at the 38-year-old, whose hands are nearly filled with warm clothes.
“I’m not going to be able to ride my bike back with all this stuff,” Jeffrey says through a smile.
It turns out that Jeffrey and his family live in a charity house not too far from the motel. He explains that he’s looking for work, but right now, he and his family go to a church for food.
Doktofsky hands Jeffrey a business card and tells him to call her sometime this week. “We’ll try to set you up as an adopted family.”
Jeffrey, ecstatic, asks if there’s anything he can do for her. She simply replies, “Pray for more donations, so we can help your families and these families.”
Tough Times
One of the mothers, aptly named Hope, sidesteps the grateful Jeffrey on his bike and grabs Doktofsky’s arm. Hope, bundled up to her neck, with a cascade of golden curls and moist eyes, tells Doktofsky, “I now believe in angels. You are my angel,” before she scoops up her two little boys and heads inside to the motel lobby. Both her sons, nearly frozen, have arms filled with clothes and toys. An awed Doktofsky steps away from the commotion and secretly wipes a tear from her eye. She whispers, “This is the best part, and the worst part.”
Toys of Hope is in serious danger of going under. The charity, which delivers clothes, toys, respite and even pet food to more than 50,000 families a year, is funded entirely by donations and sponsorships. In today’s economic turmoil, more and more families count on Doktofsky and Toys of Hope, and more and more of its sponsors are cutting back or have entirely rescinded funding. Where’s the government bailout for a charity like this?
But even though Doktofsky had lost her biggest funding sponsor that very morning, you’d never know by her demeanor that she spent the day crying about it. She is emotional recounting that moment, even 12 hours later.
“Don’t get me wrong, we are appreciative of everything everyone does for us—but we need money. If we can’t help these families, we’ve failed them,” says Doktofsky.
It’s nearing midnight. The children at the motel are exhausted after picking clean the abundant boxes. The families, mostly single mothers, are saying goodnight to Doktofsky and Hansen and shooing the children inside. It is way past their bedtimes and most have to get up for school the next day.
One mother asks why they deliver so late at night. The answer, like everything else about Toys of Hope, is simple and altruistic. The mass gift-giving is to be done while the parents are around so that the child can equate the happy memory with a providing parent. Nobody at Toys of Hope ever wants to take credit.
The Gift Of Giving
Early the next day, Hansen and Doktofsky are back at their warehouse near the Huntington Long Island Rail Road station. They give me a proud tour showing boxes piled high with brand-new clothes, Bratz sneakers and Dora dolls.
“We want the kids to have the very best and latest. Why should they feel like they deserve less than everyone else?” Doktofsky asks as she walks by a set of baby dolls. She points out, though, that while it seems like a lot of stuff, this will barely get them through the holiday season—reminding that 50,000 families’ worth of stuff goes pretty quick. Hansen interjects, excitedly pointing out a homemade angel hanging on the wall. “This came from a homeless woman we helped—she made it as a thank you five years later,” he says.
Like enthusiastic children, the pair recall a number of stories where people they delivered to were so grateful that once they got on their feet, they volunteered to donate years later.
“Remember Joel?” Doktofsky asks Hansen, referring to the homeless man they delivered items to in a shelter. When he got a job he used his van to bring toys to children the very next year. When she rattles on about these and other “helpers,” Doktofsky glows.
There is the local Eagle Scout whose final project is to build shelving for the warehouse. Joe Garguilo, the man whose holiday-decorated house in Westbury has drawn national attention, hosts a party for Toys of Hope. Even the Mall at the Source in Westbury allowed Hansen to put homemade donation boxes around the mall to collect items this winter. And even though Doktofsky often skirts recognition, pushing all the attention onto those who help her, it really is about her.
One of Toys of Hope’s sponsors, Randy Narod, president of Cambridge Who’s Who, puts it quite simply.
“All I do is write the check. Melissa [Doktofsky] does all the work—she makes it easy for me to be a good person,” says Narod, who adds that it’s a no-brainer to give to a charity that keeps all of its efforts on Long Island. “She keeps it in our backyard. That’s really important.”
Full Circle
The sun is beginning to set over the chilly warehouse. Hansen has finished loading the van for another night of gift giving, when the motel drop is in Jericho. Much like the night before, excited children swarm around boxes of games and dolls; the parents are way more interested in the shampoos and hats and gloves.
“This is the best!” says 15-year-old Tyeirah, waving a Hannah Montana doll over her head.
Doktofsky, still ill, steps back and coughs into a gloved hand. A little boy, with a Grinch stuffed animal in hand, asks if she has any babies. She looks down at him and says, “Yes, I have 50,000.”
Toys of Hope will host its biggest event of the year, the 14th Annual Holiday Party at Oheka Castle, on Dec. 10. For more information about Toys of Hope or how you can help, visit www.toysofhope.org.
Not Just Toys
In addition to children’s toys, Toys of Hope sponsors a number of programs that include:
• A literacy program, to encourage children to read by providing them with new books and reading materials, and an interactive reading program.
• A dental program that provides children with dental supplies such as toothpaste, toothbrushes and dental floss and teaches children proper oral hygiene to help them preserve a beautiful, healthy smile for life.
• The Adopt-A-Family program was set up to assist especially needy families.
• A tutoring program, with volunteer tutors visiting the child’s home and providing assistance with schoolwork.
• Music lessons: Professional instructors donate their time to give children lessons.
• Art lessons: Children are given lessons through classes or private instruction.
• Summer camp: Children who have never attended summer camp are given the opportunity to enjoy a new experience.
• Out for a Day: This program provides a day of fun and recreation for children and their families. Some of the places and events that families have been treated to include baseball games at Shea Stadium and Yankee Stadium; off-Broadway shows; the circus at the Nassau Coliseum; local museums and historical sites; the Bronx Zoo; comedy shows; arcades; the Long Island Game Farm; aquariums; college sporting events; and a trip to see the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree.
• Tennis lessons: Children are given private tennis lessons using donated rackets.
• Poor Paws: Families are provided with donated pet food and pet supplies.